sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
