If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
