Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
