Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
