do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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