So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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