He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
