Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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