as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
