u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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