he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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