I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
