this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
false alarm, still single
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
