everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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