Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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