My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
