i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
