Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
