is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The adults are the big ones right?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
