Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize