yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
