DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
