handjob tips. give me some.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
