he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
