we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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