theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
