I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
