I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
