well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
