My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
