get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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