Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
