just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
