OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
