he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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