with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
be right there i have to get my cape
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
