just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
