I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
