She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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