One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I will be naked everywhere
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
