a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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