The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
