Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
