i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
