Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
