I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
