I think I am morally bankrupt
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
