Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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