I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
