cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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