Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
