I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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