On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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