you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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