i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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