I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Are we still banned from the library?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
