I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
