careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
