At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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