i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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