Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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