3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
They took my balls.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i out mim tonsoeep
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