oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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