I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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